By Kev
Posted on December 21, 1999 9:19 am, in News Byproducts
In the first part of this series, we presented the best retrospectives of the 20th century. Now, we will take a look forward and present you with the best prespectives, err, predictions for the 21st century.
We have chosen these predictions, because of our confidence that they will come to pass. Our reputation as a quality news journal demands that we only print the most realistic predictions we have seen.
| 10. | Packaged Meats and Meat Byproducts in the Double Zeroes (Almost Food Magazine). Spam finally falls from number one, to be replaced by the top secret Spam 2K that is currently under development. |
| 9. | Earth makes contact with an extra-terrestrial intelligence in 2020. In 2022, scientists discover that it is actually just a bored guy in Montana with a ham radio. (Source: ET Watch) |
| 8. | Scientists discover a way to combine the DNA of a fruit fly with the DNA of a frog, but fail to discover a reason for doing so. (Source: Useless Science Magazine) |
| 7. | Extra-terrestrials make contact with a Montana ham radio operator in 2024. The rest of the planet doesn't believe and ignores the signals. There is no contact with beings from other worlds until 3125. (Source: ET Watch) |
| 6. | The U.S. officially becomes the only country in the entire world that uses the English system of measurements in 2012. This causes the rest of the world to think that everyone in the U.S. is extremely obese. ("You weigh 150? Gads, go on a diet, man!") |
| 5. | Unfortunately, life is remarkably unlike the Jetsons for the entire century (Source: SupraFuturific Magazine). |
| 4. | The Top Grossing Movies of the 00's (UltraObvious Magazine). Two of the top ten are: Star Wars Episode II and Star Wars Episode III. |
| 3. | Windows 2015 runs great on your average PC (which requires 5GB of RAM and runs at 2500 MHz). It doesn't crash half as often as Windows 2013 did, and the new 3D Reversi is great fun. (Source: Random CompuWeekly) |
| 2. | Babies are born with Windows 2050 preinstalled. It boots five times faster than Windows 2046 (which required a special post-birth implant), and crashes only half as often. (Source: Random CompuWeekly) |
| 1. | Unhealthy, But Tasty Foods of the 21st Century (FoodMonger Magazine) - Selections include Caffeinated Pizza, Radioactive Chicken Sandwiches and Chocolate Covered Lard. |
Stay tuned to News Byproducts for The Year In News Byproducts.