Amazon.com Joins Barnes&Noble Affiliate Program

Seattle (NBp) - After years of losing money, Amazon.com announced today that it is closing down its warehouses and will be selling books as part of the Barnes & Noble affiliate program.

"It really makes perfect sense," announced Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. "I can run the website alone now, and we'll make 7% on every book purchase. We don't even need to do anything! Plus, now that we have a patent on affiliate programs, we can sue B&N for royalties on any affiliate sale they get, including ones from me!"

The thought of profits from Amazon made investors drool today, and the stock was up 200%. (This is a "Pavlovian" response. When someone says "profits", investors start drooling.)

Amazon will continue to sell electronics and other products through affiliate programs from other websites. They will, of course, also sue those other websites for royalties on 1-Click shopping, Affiliate sales and "sales of goods through electronic means", which is a new patent they plan to get.

Because of the change, Amazon's slogan will switch from "Earth's Biggest Selection" to "Earth's Biggest Affiliate".